I’m the perfect husband II

She wanted ice cream, so I put on my coat, scarf, and gloves. Then I went to the store and purchased her ice cream. With my money. 

I also took out the trash, emptied the recycling, emptied and refilled the dishwasher.

Kidding aside, I can’t express how great it is to live next to a convenience store. I can go to and come back from the store within ten minutes. I have instant access to beer, wine, chips, juice, canned soups, toilet paper, lottery tickets, and much much more. It’s glorious and I’ll never go back to life without it.

Never. You can’t make me. I kill you bitch. I’LL KILL YOU!